When I first decided to start blogging I wasn't sure what it was going to be. Lifestyle? Family? Faith? Random Katie thoughts? It has been a bit of all those. But I always knew from the beginning that this blog needed to be used to share one very important message... EVERY LIFE MATTERS! So to do just that I started the E.L.M. Q&A. And it has proven to be such a blessing. All the Q&A's I have done so far have been so great because of the great individuals who have helped me by being a part of the series. And I hope to be able to start posting one every week or 2. So if you know of someone or you would like to be a part of my Q&A series please let me know!
OK... So it's time to introduce the AMA-zing woman who is behind this Q&A. I have had the pleasure to meet Morgan a couple times but have gotten to know her better by stalking her on Facebook and Instagram. She is an amazing photographer and I just drool over her photos. She did our family's photos once and one of my favorite pictures of all time is one she captured of my sweet kidlets. She seriously has some mad skills. And shes an awesome mom and pretty dang funny! Another reason she is so impressive is because she is a great writer. You will see how great as you read her Q&A! I'm so happy that she has taken the time to do this Q&A and I'm so excited for you to read it! It's one of my faves so far.
Take it away Morgan...
Tell us a bit about yourself.
I think the best term to describe myself would be a lover. I'm an optimist by nature but a realist by experience. Most importantly I am a wife and mother to three messy, wild and crazy, anything but reverent children that I love more than any dream I've ever had. I hate being in positions of power, and telling other people what to do. I love to write because doing so serves as my "voice," without having to actually speak. I hate washing my hair and I think that dry shampoo is the best invention since since post it notes. I've had a crush on Justin Timberlake since his days at the Mickey Mouse club and I still get the butterflies when I hear any reference to Nsync. My husband is my best friend and my biggest competition. I love that we can make anything into a game and that each of us values winning but only one of us can lose gracefully (I'll let your imagination determine just who that is).
Who matters to you?
First and foremost my children and my husband are the most valuable assets I could ever hope to have. I also value my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. I invest myself in relationships that are rewarding in that they require as much giving as they do taking, allow me to be myself free from constant criticism, and encourage me to mold my character into something prettier and better. Anyone who can foster a healthy relationship with me is someone who matters to me. My mom and dad are some of my best friends, and above all some the best people I know. They both are my biggest fans but they also tell me when I am wrong. People that are honest, loving, and supportive are people who matter to me.
How do you show them that they matter to you?
I have a really great fear of speaking in public. It's not a fear of actually speaking but rather not being able to effectively "say," the things I need to say in order to deliver my message-so I write. I write notes on envelopes, facebook messages, instagram posts, and I've even written on napkins, church programs, and receipts. I write things that pop into my head in the moment and deliver them to people. The opposite of speaking is listening, so being as I loathe the former I try to indulge in the latter. I love listening, I love being a sounding board and someone that other people can trust TO LISTEN. So often I don't even have to say anything, I just have to listen and the other party's soul is a little less heavy. I love listening.
Tell us about a time in your life when someone has made you feel like you mattered.
I know it might be cliche but I feel like my children validate my worth almost daily. They NEED me, and that makes me feel of value. I think so often that we determine our worth based on monumental accomplishments and public recognition but sometimes if we would just notice the small accolades awarded to us daily our demeanor would brighten and our sense of self importance would catapult. Knowing that my precious little people need me makes me feel like I matter, even if my day consists of mundane tasks like pouring cereal, changing diapers, and reaching things on the top shelf. Service, is the key to helping me feel like I matter.
Tell us about a time in your life when you haven't felt like you mattered.
I constantly feel like I don't matter. My friend said something really profound once. She stated that: Satan's biggest accomplishment was convincing the world that he didn't exist but maybe his biggest accomplishment was convincing individuals that the world paid no attention to their existence. EVERYONE feels like they don't matter at some point and some feel that way more than others. You can be the star player, number one pinterest mom, or the all star marathon runner and still feel obsolete and unnoticed. Just as being a mom makes me feel like I matter sometimes, on the hard days, my role as a mother can make my heart heavy. I start to think about all the things I could have done or the changes I could have made if I had chosen a different route.
How did you overcome that?
I talk about it, or rather; I write about it. There is a stigma attached to admitting when you feel vulnerable-indicating that doing so is a sign of weakness. That stigma is the reason we feel lonely, unimportant, and unnoticed. How comforting would it be to know that mass numbers of other people feel the same way you do, and feel that way often? I don't think we need to host pity parties on social media but I do think good can come from exposing our weaknesses once in a while.
What matters to you and why?
So many things matter to me but if I had to sum it all up I would say that making the people I love most feel loved. I don't think I've ever felt so much joy as I have when I see my husband succeed or my kids accomplish hard things. My husband is my saving grace. I love him, despite his faults, and feel so blessed that he loves me in lieu of my many quirks. We fit together like brand new puzzle. I also value greatly the healthy relationships I have in my life. I am often in awe of how blessed I am to be surrounded by some many amazing people: from my parents, to my siblings, and my friends, I have so many people that I value. Lastly, my faith matters. I have a faith in a divine creator and a faith in the atoning sacrifice of his son. This faith as carried me through great triumphs and utterly defeating moments of despair.
Life can get pretty crazy and there are a lot of distractions and things to get us off track. How do you keep focus on what matters most to you in your life?
I simplify. I have never felt so liberated as when I say NO to things that overshadow those things and people that matter to me. I let things go. I will never be able to make the perfect cupcake, or sew anything other than a pillow case. I hate doing my daughters hair, and will never be able to do those wicked awesome waterfall braids. I LOATHE handmade valentines and get anxiety just thinking about throwing themed birthday parties. I LET ALL THOSE THINGS GO. The best "ah ha," moment of the past two years was when I actually accepted the ideology that I am really good at some things but I'm not good at EVERYTHING- and that is OKAY!
If you could give one message to those reading this what would it be?
I've always tried to live by the wise words of Mark Twain, "With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." In a cut throat world kindness is becoming a rarity. Dare to be kind and compassionate. One of my favorite mantras states: goodness only exists if it it practiced.
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