Well what can I say to help you all truly understand how amazing Suzanne is??? If I had to describe her is 3 words they would be; Genuine. Intelligent. RAD.
I met Suzanne last year when I went with my sister to do a maxi skirt party at Suzanne's house. I walked in and instantly knew we should be besties. She has amazing taste in just about everything! And she is the kind of person who makes you really think. You know that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that's says, "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." Well Suzanne is a great mind! She makes me understand who I am. Have you ever had a friend who did that? Made you understand yourself better just by them being their own self? Seriously people... She is a blessing to this world! And she matters to me very much!
I am so excited for you all to get to know her through her Q&A. I hope you all enjoys this weeks Every Life Matters Q&A by the one and only, Suzanne Maddocks!
Tell us a bit about yourself.
I grew up in Texas with three older brothers and two older sisters. I swam in warm Texas water almost every day. And I LOVE to swim. I was raised to be smart, strong, kind and unique. I moved to Utah to attend BYU, I later graduated from the U and later from USU. When I was 28 I moved from Salt Lake City to Roosevelt which was exciting and emotionally difficult. My grandmother often told me that I could choose to be happy wherever I was. I try to listen to those words often. I am married to a hard working artist and we have two lovely children, they are my world. I am social and shy. I love to learn, and relearn and evolve. I am a mental health therapist and I knew what I wanted to do when I was in the 7th grade. I was an office aid for the school counselor and the cutest skater boy, Bobby, went to counseling with her once a week. It made an impact on me then that there is depth under the surface of a person and it does not matter how cute, rebellious, or put together we are, we all just need someone to talk to! And a sandwich...those help a lot too.
Who matters to you?
What matters most to you?
Tell us about a time in your life when someone has made you feel like you mattered.
I am fortunate that my mind is flooded with memories, names, feelings and faces of instances where I felt that I mattered. My good and loving parents were successful in helping me understand that I matter to them and to something/someone larger. I was awfully shy as a kid and I remember the first day of kindergarten being brutal. There was a retired man from our subdivision who would volunteer in our kindergarten classroom. We called him Kinder-Pa. He would talk to, reassure and rock and child in a huge ol' rocking chair until they felt brave enough to handle the big uneasy world of public school. I did not realize it when I was five, but his time and quality of a man helped me understand that I mattered. I mattered enough for an old man to leave his house every day and spend his time with a lot of rambunctious children.
Tell us about a time in your life when you haven't felt like you mattered.
Who matters to you?
I would love to say that everyone matters to me, and the true answer IS everyone but when I prioritize it is God, family, friends, friends of friends, strangers and people who need help who I can offer some help. So yeah, basically everyone.
How do you show them that they matter to you?
My mind gets a chaotically busy sometimes and I think that I need to complete a thoughtful deed or gift/art project for someone to feel that they matter to me. I end up wasting a lot of time and most of all my energy on something silly that people don't want/need. I am constantly relearning that time and quality is what people need most from each other. My friends and family have witnessed me relearn this several times. And I am still learning.
My mind gets a chaotically busy sometimes and I think that I need to complete a thoughtful deed or gift/art project for someone to feel that they matter to me. I end up wasting a lot of time and most of all my energy on something silly that people don't want/need. I am constantly relearning that time and quality is what people need most from each other. My friends and family have witnessed me relearn this several times. And I am still learning.
What matters most to you?
Spirituality, calmness, happiness, energy, art, nature, emotional bonds with others, everyone doing their part--being a cog in the great big machine, creativity, simplicity, good feelings, normalness, kindness, laughter, good food and even better music. Oh, and people. I am definitely a people person.
Tell us about a time in your life when someone has made you feel like you mattered.
I am fortunate that my mind is flooded with memories, names, feelings and faces of instances where I felt that I mattered. My good and loving parents were successful in helping me understand that I matter to them and to something/someone larger. I was awfully shy as a kid and I remember the first day of kindergarten being brutal. There was a retired man from our subdivision who would volunteer in our kindergarten classroom. We called him Kinder-Pa. He would talk to, reassure and rock and child in a huge ol' rocking chair until they felt brave enough to handle the big uneasy world of public school. I did not realize it when I was five, but his time and quality of a man helped me understand that I mattered. I mattered enough for an old man to leave his house every day and spend his time with a lot of rambunctious children.
There are countless times that I have felt that I did not matter. Typically when I have let my personal goals slip and I have let my materialism run rampant, it is very easy to feel that I don't matter, that I don't measure up. That my mom/wife/church skills are sub par. Its easy to think why I am overlooked for some things, some friends. When I have negative thoughts that are self-deprecating, comparing in nature, it is because I have let my self get engulfed in negative self talk tsunami that I am responsible to stop. It is not always easy but when things get to me, man, if I can back up and track each thought, I can break it down and begin to build myself up. I have not always been able to do this, to look at the big picture.
How did you overcome that?
So how did I overcome that... Katie, that is a good question because I am still overcoming that but I will tell you what has helped me so far...I slow down. I think about why I was put on this Earth. I count my blessings. I pray. I hated the book Eat, Pray, Love (that woman was so self absorbed) but she was really on to something. I eat a cookie. I hold my kids and tell them that I love them. I take a deep breath. I think about a friend who has been asking me to spend time with or call who I have neglected. I listen to my children's perspective on how things work. I let myself laugh. I read the Book of Mormon. I ask for help. I talk about how I am feeling with my favorite therapist (my husband). I pray again. I keep praying in my heart. I cry. I walk outside and feel the love of my Heavenly Father through our natural surroundings. I pay attention to someone who has it worse than me, someone who needs help--my help. Sometimes I have to do some or all of these things, or do all of these things and second and third time until my attitude is switched. Sometimes all I have to do is read a small paragraph in Sheri Dew's book Women in the Priesthood and I weep with an understanding that I matter.
So how did I overcome that... Katie, that is a good question because I am still overcoming that but I will tell you what has helped me so far...I slow down. I think about why I was put on this Earth. I count my blessings. I pray. I hated the book Eat, Pray, Love (that woman was so self absorbed) but she was really on to something. I eat a cookie. I hold my kids and tell them that I love them. I take a deep breath. I think about a friend who has been asking me to spend time with or call who I have neglected. I listen to my children's perspective on how things work. I let myself laugh. I read the Book of Mormon. I ask for help. I talk about how I am feeling with my favorite therapist (my husband). I pray again. I keep praying in my heart. I cry. I walk outside and feel the love of my Heavenly Father through our natural surroundings. I pay attention to someone who has it worse than me, someone who needs help--my help. Sometimes I have to do some or all of these things, or do all of these things and second and third time until my attitude is switched. Sometimes all I have to do is read a small paragraph in Sheri Dew's book Women in the Priesthood and I weep with an understanding that I matter.
Life can get pretty crazy and there are a lot of distractions and things to get us off track. How do you keep focus on what matters most to you in your life?
Life IS crazy! It is spontaneous and it happens fast. I never really believed the olds when they said that thirty or fifty or seventy five years would flash by but I get it now. I like to have a routine and I like to plan, I also like to make excuses and make decision based on my mood. So my routine has to be fluid. I have to constantly re prioritize (the most important things are always at the top). My mom and I were driving in Mexico about ten years ago and there was a blind beggar who had no legs on the side of the road. She told me that he matters to someone. Not only is he a child of God, but he was someone's, some mother's child. That hit me so hard that day and I have since looked at people and life with a different perspective. That keeps my grounded. Surrounding myself with good people with similar goals keeps me on track. Hanging around kids really helps with that. Being a therapist and realizing that most people have it harder than I do helps with that. Looking at the big picture of life, this opportunity helps with that. Understanding or at least wondering what I have to offer the world, or just my family, or community, or even myself helps with that. Also, limiting my FB and IG time helps with that.
If you could give one message to those reading this what would it be?
If you need help, find it. I am a therapist so of course I would say that. I know that we were put here with other human beings so that we could help each other. I have seen some people with tragic situations transform themselves and reshape their future. Do something every day that grounds you and makes you feel good to be you. Think about the big picture and what you have to offer/to change/ to grow with. Slow down, take a deep breath and laugh. Ask your maker to help you find joy.
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