2014... It wasn't an easy year. Looking back to where we were a year ago I just can't believe how much I loved it.
We moved from southern Utah to North Eastern Utah because of a feeling. The kids and I moved up the very beginning of the year and moved in with my sister and her family so Cooper could start school when Christmas break was over. That was so hard. I hated not knowing when Dustin would be able to join us. He still had to find a job. That is how sudden our decision to move was. We had been talking about moving for a long time but never got past the first and not so serious stages... it was just a "what if" each time we talked about it. But mid December we (mainly I) had a strong feeling that we were supposed to move. Those first few months were some of the hardest of my life.
But looking back on this last year I can see all the blessing that came from that prompting and decision to move over 6 hours away from the home we knew. A few of those blessings were...
Cooper's confidence!
In his old school he wasn't doing well. I hated seeing him struggle in school and knowing that his confidence was getting lower and lower as time went by. By the grace of God Cooper was blessed to get the most amazing teacher when we moved. I remember the first time we went in to talk to her after Cooper had been going to her class for a couple weeks. I was so nervous that it would be the same thing I heard from his old teacher... He didn't pay attention, he was a distraction, something needed to be done, he's smart but he isn't doing his work, he was just a hard student... I hated hearing those things. But as I sat down with his new teacher I didn't cringe at all the complaints I was preparing myself to hear. Instead she talked about all of his strengths, how much she enjoyed having him, and then talked to me about her concern for him and how low his confidence was. I wanted to cry... She got it. She saw what I saw! She saw Cooper! By the end of the year Cooper was doing 100 times better. He still had a hard time paying attention and we had to keep on him about stay on task, but that wasn't the main focus. The main focus was for him to be positive and his confidence in himself and what he can do. Those few short months in Miss Eberhard's class were such a blessing.
Coping with my depression & learning to love and accept myself!
I haven't really wrote about this much. Looking back at myself one year ago I am floored at the difference. one year ago, before moving up here, I was an exhausted mother to a little boy who was struggling in school and a 6 month old who had turned my life upside down and pushed me to the breaking point. Molly had jaundice and then colic. I remember night after night of being awake and wondering how I wasn't dead from lack of sleep. I was dealing with so many emotions. I loved my new little baby girl with all my heart but I was so depressed. I have dealt with depression for a long time. I had ups and downs for years. I never really remembered it getting as bad as it had that winter though. I didn't take care of myself, I wasn't interested in doing much other than keeping my family fed, clothed and loved. I spent all the love I had on my family and had none left for myself. I didn't like who I was. But of course I was in denial about it. This was my husbands reason to move. He told me one day that he was worried about me and that he was moving to help me. Later on when I was alone I cried so hard because first I knew that I was slipping into depression but I hadn't realized I was already there. And second because I knew how difficult it was for my husband to move. He is a creature of habit. He gets into his comfy routine and isn't swayed from it easily. The fact that he was willing to uproot his whole life for me was overwhelming.
Fast forward to a couple months after moving in with my sister and I was finally accepting that I had to learn to cope instead of overcome or get better. My sister played a huge role in my journey of remembering who I am and loving her again. She doesn't take excuses... One day I was having a day and I remember her telling me to chill the freak out and stop making excuses. It was hard to hear. I was initially mad at her but then realized she was saying what needed to be said. Over the next few months I gradually found a way to cope with the depression and learn when I was getting to close to the edge. I started crossfit in May after my sister bugged me about it for a couple months. I hated it and loved it all at the same time. Crossfit was way more than a workout. I seriously found so much strength and determination that I didn't know I had. I cried during many of the WODs (Workout Of the Day). I pushed myself past any boundary I thought I couldn't cross. I got much more mentally and emotionally from it than physically. And I got a TON from it physically. I wish I could still go. I quit after hurting my arm when I crashed on the Alpine Slide in Park City. After that I wasn't able to afford it. But those few months I got from going were a huge part of me loving me again.
Another big moment in this journey was when I attended the Bright Night Event in July. I won't go way into it but I will say this... The women I met and got to know made a huge impact in my life. Before I went I was so nervous and I wanted to find a reason not to go. But I went and when I go there I made a promise to myself that I would be myself and let these women know the real Katie. I was so surprised to find out that people liked me... The real me! The kindness and genuine interest that those women showed for me was another huge stepping stone for me and I will forever be grateful for that day and those women.
New adventures!
I grew up in Southern Utah and I have been everywhere down there. I love being outdoors but I am ashamed to say that growing up with all that beauty in my backyard kind of took away from the excitement of it. After we moved up north we decided to get to know northern Utah a bit more. I have come to love the northern Utah scenery. It's exciting to go somewhere you haven't ever been before. I have had a hard time living in Roosevelt because there are no mountains surrounding the town because we are on top of the mountains. But when we take the time to drive off somewhere and go somewhere new I absolutely love it. And I love sharing those adventures with my family. I feel like it has brought us closer.
Mr. & Mrs. Dotson!
We moved from southern Utah to North Eastern Utah because of a feeling. The kids and I moved up the very beginning of the year and moved in with my sister and her family so Cooper could start school when Christmas break was over. That was so hard. I hated not knowing when Dustin would be able to join us. He still had to find a job. That is how sudden our decision to move was. We had been talking about moving for a long time but never got past the first and not so serious stages... it was just a "what if" each time we talked about it. But mid December we (mainly I) had a strong feeling that we were supposed to move. Those first few months were some of the hardest of my life.
But looking back on this last year I can see all the blessing that came from that prompting and decision to move over 6 hours away from the home we knew. A few of those blessings were...
Cooper's confidence!
In his old school he wasn't doing well. I hated seeing him struggle in school and knowing that his confidence was getting lower and lower as time went by. By the grace of God Cooper was blessed to get the most amazing teacher when we moved. I remember the first time we went in to talk to her after Cooper had been going to her class for a couple weeks. I was so nervous that it would be the same thing I heard from his old teacher... He didn't pay attention, he was a distraction, something needed to be done, he's smart but he isn't doing his work, he was just a hard student... I hated hearing those things. But as I sat down with his new teacher I didn't cringe at all the complaints I was preparing myself to hear. Instead she talked about all of his strengths, how much she enjoyed having him, and then talked to me about her concern for him and how low his confidence was. I wanted to cry... She got it. She saw what I saw! She saw Cooper! By the end of the year Cooper was doing 100 times better. He still had a hard time paying attention and we had to keep on him about stay on task, but that wasn't the main focus. The main focus was for him to be positive and his confidence in himself and what he can do. Those few short months in Miss Eberhard's class were such a blessing.
Coping with my depression & learning to love and accept myself!
I haven't really wrote about this much. Looking back at myself one year ago I am floored at the difference. one year ago, before moving up here, I was an exhausted mother to a little boy who was struggling in school and a 6 month old who had turned my life upside down and pushed me to the breaking point. Molly had jaundice and then colic. I remember night after night of being awake and wondering how I wasn't dead from lack of sleep. I was dealing with so many emotions. I loved my new little baby girl with all my heart but I was so depressed. I have dealt with depression for a long time. I had ups and downs for years. I never really remembered it getting as bad as it had that winter though. I didn't take care of myself, I wasn't interested in doing much other than keeping my family fed, clothed and loved. I spent all the love I had on my family and had none left for myself. I didn't like who I was. But of course I was in denial about it. This was my husbands reason to move. He told me one day that he was worried about me and that he was moving to help me. Later on when I was alone I cried so hard because first I knew that I was slipping into depression but I hadn't realized I was already there. And second because I knew how difficult it was for my husband to move. He is a creature of habit. He gets into his comfy routine and isn't swayed from it easily. The fact that he was willing to uproot his whole life for me was overwhelming.
Fast forward to a couple months after moving in with my sister and I was finally accepting that I had to learn to cope instead of overcome or get better. My sister played a huge role in my journey of remembering who I am and loving her again. She doesn't take excuses... One day I was having a day and I remember her telling me to chill the freak out and stop making excuses. It was hard to hear. I was initially mad at her but then realized she was saying what needed to be said. Over the next few months I gradually found a way to cope with the depression and learn when I was getting to close to the edge. I started crossfit in May after my sister bugged me about it for a couple months. I hated it and loved it all at the same time. Crossfit was way more than a workout. I seriously found so much strength and determination that I didn't know I had. I cried during many of the WODs (Workout Of the Day). I pushed myself past any boundary I thought I couldn't cross. I got much more mentally and emotionally from it than physically. And I got a TON from it physically. I wish I could still go. I quit after hurting my arm when I crashed on the Alpine Slide in Park City. After that I wasn't able to afford it. But those few months I got from going were a huge part of me loving me again.
Another big moment in this journey was when I attended the Bright Night Event in July. I won't go way into it but I will say this... The women I met and got to know made a huge impact in my life. Before I went I was so nervous and I wanted to find a reason not to go. But I went and when I go there I made a promise to myself that I would be myself and let these women know the real Katie. I was so surprised to find out that people liked me... The real me! The kindness and genuine interest that those women showed for me was another huge stepping stone for me and I will forever be grateful for that day and those women.
New adventures!
I grew up in Southern Utah and I have been everywhere down there. I love being outdoors but I am ashamed to say that growing up with all that beauty in my backyard kind of took away from the excitement of it. After we moved up north we decided to get to know northern Utah a bit more. I have come to love the northern Utah scenery. It's exciting to go somewhere you haven't ever been before. I have had a hard time living in Roosevelt because there are no mountains surrounding the town because we are on top of the mountains. But when we take the time to drive off somewhere and go somewhere new I absolutely love it. And I love sharing those adventures with my family. I feel like it has brought us closer.
Mr. & Mrs. Dotson!
With all the trials and the hard times we have faced over this last year my husband and I have grown so much closer and our relationship has become stronger. There are things that I don't blog about of post about on social media... they are important and hard and special and annoying... My marriage isn't the average marriage. No ones marriage is an average marriage! My husband and I love each other. We fight, We make up. We get mad. We forgive. We hold things in. We blow up at the worst time. We forgive again and again. We make each other smile. We hold each others hand during the hard times. We face trials together and apart. We grow. We learn. We love. This last year has been so hard and so amazing and so surprising. 2014 definitely helped us to be a better couple.
Blogging!
I started blogging a month or so after I went to Bright Night Event. I was so nervous to blog. I worried about what people would think. But I had a strong feeling that I needed to just stop worrying and start a blog. And all I knew was that it needed to have something to do with Every Life Matters. That is why I do the E.L.M. Q&A. I have loved writing this blog and I have learned so much about life and what is really important. It has been a huge blessing for me.
Exploring my creativity!
This year as I have been on my journey to better self image and accepting myself I have really searched a lot with my creativity. Ideas, passions, interests and things I had no idea I had the ability to do has helped me to be better. I have started a new way to be creative and I am so excited about it but I am just not ready to spill the beans quite yet. I guess I'm too nervous to talk about it in fear that it will turn out to be not as exciting as I see it. But... I am grateful for all the creatives who have helped me to think outside the box and explore my own creativity.
Motherhood!
I have come to know how important my role as mother to my children is. Although it is hard at times I love being mom. Molly and Cooper are two of my very greatest blessing. Each day I learn something new because Cooper is so curious. And each day I find out what it's like to fall in love each time Molly looks at me with those beautiful blue smiling eyes. I love that part of me. I am a mom. How cool is that?!?!? My children have taught me so much and I am grateful for every day I have with them... Even if a lot of those days are filled with diapers, crying, sleepless nights, having to tell my son over and over to do something and wondering if I'm doing good enough. When it all comes down to it, I love my role as mom and I will take the good, the bad, and the crazy all together!
My spirituality!
I have always had a testimony of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I know that my Father in Heaven loves me. I know my Savior atoned for my sin because he loves me. I know I am a daughter of God. But over this last year my relationship with my Father has developed and grown so strong. I can't even put into words the feeling I feel when I think of where I was spiritually and where I am now. I know my worth. I know that we are all loved and cared for. Just because we have trials or hard times does not mean that we have been forgotten or abandoned. Through all my struggles, trials, happy moments, loneliness, and everything in between I have felt the love of my Savior and my God. And I have had the Holy Ghost to guide me. If you get anything from this post please let this be it.... YOU MATTER TO GOD! YOU MATTER TO THE WORLD! We all matter! We are all loved!
There have been lots and lots of fun memories over this last year. And I made a lil video of just a few. If I would have added all the pictures I wanted it would have lasted for a couple days. So here ya go... a year in review and put to one of our favorite songs from this years.
"So now I laugh just a little more,
I stand much taller than I did before,
I know I'm not where I need to be,
But I thank God that I'm not where I used to be."
-Alex Boye (Lemonade)
Blogging!
I started blogging a month or so after I went to Bright Night Event. I was so nervous to blog. I worried about what people would think. But I had a strong feeling that I needed to just stop worrying and start a blog. And all I knew was that it needed to have something to do with Every Life Matters. That is why I do the E.L.M. Q&A. I have loved writing this blog and I have learned so much about life and what is really important. It has been a huge blessing for me.
Exploring my creativity!
This year as I have been on my journey to better self image and accepting myself I have really searched a lot with my creativity. Ideas, passions, interests and things I had no idea I had the ability to do has helped me to be better. I have started a new way to be creative and I am so excited about it but I am just not ready to spill the beans quite yet. I guess I'm too nervous to talk about it in fear that it will turn out to be not as exciting as I see it. But... I am grateful for all the creatives who have helped me to think outside the box and explore my own creativity.
Motherhood!
I have come to know how important my role as mother to my children is. Although it is hard at times I love being mom. Molly and Cooper are two of my very greatest blessing. Each day I learn something new because Cooper is so curious. And each day I find out what it's like to fall in love each time Molly looks at me with those beautiful blue smiling eyes. I love that part of me. I am a mom. How cool is that?!?!? My children have taught me so much and I am grateful for every day I have with them... Even if a lot of those days are filled with diapers, crying, sleepless nights, having to tell my son over and over to do something and wondering if I'm doing good enough. When it all comes down to it, I love my role as mom and I will take the good, the bad, and the crazy all together!
My spirituality!
I have always had a testimony of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I know that my Father in Heaven loves me. I know my Savior atoned for my sin because he loves me. I know I am a daughter of God. But over this last year my relationship with my Father has developed and grown so strong. I can't even put into words the feeling I feel when I think of where I was spiritually and where I am now. I know my worth. I know that we are all loved and cared for. Just because we have trials or hard times does not mean that we have been forgotten or abandoned. Through all my struggles, trials, happy moments, loneliness, and everything in between I have felt the love of my Savior and my God. And I have had the Holy Ghost to guide me. If you get anything from this post please let this be it.... YOU MATTER TO GOD! YOU MATTER TO THE WORLD! We all matter! We are all loved!
There have been lots and lots of fun memories over this last year. And I made a lil video of just a few. If I would have added all the pictures I wanted it would have lasted for a couple days. So here ya go... a year in review and put to one of our favorite songs from this years.
"So now I laugh just a little more,
I stand much taller than I did before,
I know I'm not where I need to be,
But I thank God that I'm not where I used to be."
-Alex Boye (Lemonade)
Here's to another amazing year filled with ups, downs, love, growth and adventure.
For 2015 my goals are...
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What are your goals for the year?
XOXO,
Katie
Wonderful, wonderful post! I love hearing about how God calls us to Him. It sounds like you've had an eventful year. May 2015 exceed your expectations. I love your goals... they're perfect!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop)!
Wishing you a lovely evening.
xoxo
Thank you so much! And thank you for visiting my blog. :) Happy 2015 to you and God bless! :)
DeleteWandered over here from the #SHINEbloghop - I saw the President Hinckley quote on your image and had to come say hello from one LDS blogger mom to another.
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny! It's wonderful to meet ya! :)
Delete