Every Life Matters Q&A - Nikki Dastrup

I'm so excited for the second E.L.M. Q&A!!! When I first came up with the idea to do the Every Life Matters Q&A on the blog I was trying to think of people who would be great to have involved. And one of the first names that popped into my head was Nikki! I have known Nikki for so long! We are both Panguitch girls!!! I didn't really know her all that well because we were a few years apart in school but in a small town you know everyone. When I was a senior in high school Nikki was a freshman and we were on drill team together. That is when I first got to know of her fun personality. But it was years later that I got to know how truly AMAZING she is! When I lived in Cedar I was blessed to experience the awesomeness that is Operation Tonergy! And I got to reconnect with and better know the AMAZING Nikki!!! She was always so supportive and positive and just plain RAD! I can honestly say that Nikki played a role in the beginning stages of my personal journey changing direction and heading toward a brighter happier destination. I love this chick and I know that you will understand why after you read her Q&A! So... Get ready for some crazy amounts of inspiration and motivation. This is Nikki...

Tell us a bit about yourself. 

I'm 28 years old. Pure optimist. Fitness enthusiast. Positivity junkie. Extrovert and social butterfly. I may be the happiest person you'll ever meet in your lifetime! I'm a mother to two perfect little boys and a lover to a perfect man. My mom is my best friend. Family is my number one. I live in the moment, always trusting the process. I always find the best in everyone and everything. My main goal in life is to make this world a happier place full of happier people by teaching people their true value and help them learn to love themselves for who they are regardless of life's simple setbacks. Those reasons exactly are why I founded Operation Tonergy Group Training. I've experience so much for such a young age, but I truly feel like it's all been part of my path to be able to help people around me. I love people. I'm motivated and I NEVER give up on anything. I LOVE LIFE, I truly honestly from the bottom of my heart do. I wake up excited every single day awaiting my destiny!

Who matters to you? 

Everyone matters to me! My sweet children make me strive to want to be the greatest person in this world and set an example for them. My amazing boyfriend makes me feel loved and flawless regardless of my imperfections. My mother has been my rock for my entire life and has always pursued me to reach for the stars. My clients give me hope for the world I dream of creating!

How do they show you that you matter to them?

I kind of answered that above, but honestly they show me that I matter to them by loving me unconditionally for the person I am. I have learned that the people that TRULY love me would never want to change a thing about me. I make sure to keep those people closer to my heart :) 

Tell us about a time in your life when someone made you feel like you mattered. 

Oh wow, I feel so blessed because trying to think of just one time is almost overwhelming! The one time that will stick with me until the day I die and probably follow me into heaven is the very first day I had a Tonergy class. I had just been through hell and wasn't quite back yet. I honestly didn't think there was a soul out there that would support anything that had to do with me ... but there were 4 women (and my mom) that showed up. Those women will never know how much that moment meant to me. Because of them I felt like I had a second chance at life. Because of them I knew that something I did mattered. And because of them, I knew that my life had a purpose.

Tell us about a time in your life when you haven't felt like you mattered. 

If I could just reference MY BLOG here then that would be completely appropriate. If you know me, then looking at me now you would never guess that there was a time or two in my life when I honestly thought that death was the only way out. My first marriage was a very abusive marriage, to say the least. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. Throughout that entire relationship I was made to feel that I truly was the epitome of the earth and I didn't deserve anything but the worst. 

How did you overcome that? 

Once again I'll reference my blog... My mom and dad helped me let go of the fear of leaving him. I still suffer from insecurities due to that marriage today. Actually, I blame most of my insecurities on that marriage. I work day in and day out on learning to love myself with positive affirmations, gratitude lists, prayer, writing a journal, giving back to the world around me and other tools I've learned throughout the years. I believe that we never actually "overcome" things, but instead that we have to work through them every single second of every single day of our lives. I choose to use positive reinforcements and God as my number one tools :) 

When you made the decision to start Tonergy what helped you to have courage to take that chance? 

God! And my mom :) Most likely it was God working through my mom. I was living in a pain filled world of regret completely numb with depression at the time. My mom believed in me and urged me to do something with my life, something that I was passion about. Honestly, I was scared out of my mind that it wasn't going to work, but God had bigger plans for me :) 

What has that decision done for your life? 

Starting Tonergy saved my life. And I don't say that absentmindedly. I cannot even begin to explain what I was facing at the time I started Tonergy. I felt worthless. I felt bitter. I felt hated. I felt like life wasn't worth living. I honestly had nothing to live for ... or so I had thought. I was in the ultimate depths of the world and I had no idea how to climb out of it. Tonergy made me believe in myself again. Tonergy showed me that I had a place in this world. Tonergy showed me that I could use all of the life experience I have by helping people with the same challenges that I was dealing with. Tonergy made me feel alive again at a time when I truly thought I would be better off dead. Tonergy has made me thrive and has shown me the value of my life in giving back to the people that I am so blessed to work with. I truly believe that Tonergy is a God thing and it was God's way of showing me the light.

Why does it matter to you to help those who come to Tonergy?

I feel like Tonergy is my way of giving back to the world what God gave to me. Let me tell you a little secret about Tonergy ... In case I forgot to mention above, I am a recovering addict. When I was in treatment I learned so many tools that help me stay clean every single day of my life. As I was working on my 3rd Step in the 12 Step Recovery Program I honestly felt closer to God then I ever have in my entire life. One day I had an "Aha!" moment and realized that all of the tools I was learning were all of the tools that are needed to live a happy, successful, positive life!! Call me crazy but I really feel like God threw this idea into my heart one day ... I think He did that and is using me to show people how to be healthy in all aspects of life ... mentally, physically, emotionally AND spiritually. I fall in love with everyone I get blessed to work with. Their pain is my pain and their achievements are my achievements. I really just want to show people how simple it is to live a happy healthy life, even if there have been times that we have been miserable or felt dead, there is always a second chance to be able to work through the pain and suffering and create the life you've always dreamed of having!! I KNOW it's possible, because I've done it :) I do it because 1.) I love it, and 2.) I owe it to God!

If you could give one message to those reading this, what would it be?

Trust the process, and enjoy every single step of the journey! This is my life motto :) This is something I learned from my recovery counselor and she embedded it into my mind day in and day out. I am a firm believer in God, I know not everyone believes in God and that is totally okay, I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that whatever I go through in life, He has chosen that path for me for a reason ... yes, even the super hard stuff I don't think I'll ever survive! No matter what, there is always something positive that can come out of everything - even the most heart wrenching things. It seems like in my life, the harder the trial was, the more I learned and the more I've been able to give back to the world because of. I'm not gonna say that life is easy, life is hard as hell, BUT we do have the power to make our lives what we want them to be. We get the choice every day to be happy or miserable - it's a simple matter of saying to yourself every single day as you roll out bed "Just for today, I will be happy"! Simply put, life is too damn short to spend every single day worrying, stressing, being miserable, hurting, resenting others, holding on to pain ... LET IT GO!! I am probably the happiest person you'll ever meet in this entire world because I don't let things get to me. I trust in God so much that I know that if something is difficult in my day, that He is putting that moment in my life for a reason - and whatever that reason is, it's a reason that will benefit me in the long run! Live positive, believe in yourself, never stop smiling, and give back to the world around you <3 Life is an amazing opportunity - if you allow it to be :) 

Loves, Nikki, xoxoxo

Keep It Simple.

Random fact about Katie... I don't do "busy" very well. I envy those people who can organize their days so perfectly and juggle multiple tasks like a pro. I am NOT one of those people. If I have too much on my plate I don't function very well. I get so stressed and can't deal with it. The last couple months my life has become busier and busier as I have added projects and tasks and this and that. I have taken on too much. I have neglected the things that need my attention the most. As I write this I worry that those who know me might be saying to themselves "What is she talking about? She doesn't do that much. I have just as much or more on my plate and I get it done." Am I just being paranoid? Am I just being a baby about my small load? I know there are people out there that do way more than me and have to deal with a lot more. I give those people props for doing what they are doing! I am not talking about them though... I am talking about me and what I can handle.

I was so stressed and pretty discouraged yesterday. When my husband got home he could see how wound up and stressed out I was and asked what was up. That is when I just let it all out. Poor guy is married to a loony. I was telling him how I want to do all these things, accomplish all these goals, make a difference. I want o do all these things and do well at them but I feel like I just can't because I'm all over the place. I know so many amazing women that do so many amazing this. Why can't I do as much as they do? Why can't I keep my house clean, take care of the kids, be a good wife, make dinner, do laundry, work from home, work a part time job, write a meaningful blog post a couple times a week, build my followers on Instagram, be a fitness/health superstar, be a fashionista, decorate my house and work on all of these other projects I have rambling around inside my mind? Why is it when I spend time with my husband and kids I always feel a little guilty because there is something that is dirty and something to be worked on? When my husband asked me what was wrong I wanted to just say "ME! There is something wrong with me!" And I might have said something like that. I am always feeling like I am falling a little farther behind on my "To Do" list. I just can't keep up with the Jones'!

Please don't think that I always feel like this. My life has developed into this amazing journey as I have come to know who I am, what I am capable of, what is important, and where I want my life to go. But I am afraid that in these last few weeks I have lost sight of my ultimate goals. I have moments or self pity and get down on myself here and there. I have distracted myself with things just aren't needed in my life at this time. And as a result I have felt like I am not enough. I have to simplify and focus on the things that need to be done now. I have to remind myself that I am human. The adversary tries to make us think that if we are not conquering the world and living up to a certain standard that we aren't good enough. That is SO not the truth! We are all different and can do and not do different things. We do not have to channel our inner Beyonce and "rule the world". That chick is pretty rad and more power to her for being such a powerhouse, but I am not Beyonce. I am Katie. I'm cool with just ruling something smaller... like a country or two... or maybe just my life. I want to rule my life! Not have my life rule me!

I have already sat down and decided what to unload off of my plate so I can give more time to those people and projects that need my time. Those things are... My relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, my husband, my children, myself, my blog, my business, and a project I have had tucked away that needs attention so it can be let out into the world.

I truly believe that God has a purpose for each and every one of His children. We just have to simplify our lives of all the distractions so that we can know what is needed of us. When we get rid of all the things that distract us from what matters most we will be able to do amazing things for each other and for ourselves.

A couple of my favorite scriptures come to mind. "And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work." (D&C 4:5) It is simple. Faith, hope, charity and love. Another favorite is ,"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:6) I will be keeping my eye single to the glory of God so that He can direct my path the way it should go. Having too much on my plate these last few weeks has kept me from being who God needs me to be. It has also made me think that I had to be someone else. I felt like I had to do everything at once to be better, My worth in this world is not determined by how may followers I have or how many checks are on my to-do list or who I am keeping up with. My worth does not increase or decrease.If a twenty dollar bill buys 10 items instead of two it is not worth more.  I can't take on so much thinking that it will change my worth or importance. I have to remind myself that it is QUALITY not QUANTITY that matters.

XOXO,

Katie

Hobby with my hubby.

Hi. I haven't written a post for a week... I'm having a block of some sort. I think I am too tired from all the sleep I have lost. My baby girl is continuously teething and is very stubborn! So I haven't slept since... well since before I was pregnant with her. :) I need a weekend away with my Mr. Dotson!

Speaking of my husband... We have been trying to think of a hobby we could have together. We are so busy with work and kids and household duties and lots of other little things that we don't spend much quality time together. We have noticed that our conversations have become very blah and generic.

How was your day? How was work? It's your turn to change this poopy diaper! What should we have for dinner? Want to watch this show tonight? I love you. I love you too....

We talk to each other plenty throughout the day. And we spend time together... Usually watching TV after the kidlets are in bed and before we conk out ourselves. But we don't really have any common interests other to actually discuss. He's a man. He likes the simple things in life. Communication isn't exactly at the top of his list. He is an introvert. Need I say more? And I'm a woman. I am a complex creature. Simple is not my specialty. I tend to over think and worry.  I want to talk about everything. 

When we were first dating we found lots of common interests! Music, movies, food, love of the outdoors, what we found funny... But that was when we were trying to find common interests because it was new and fun and exciting. I'm sure we aren't the only couple to suffer the effects of life and letting our connection take the backseat to said life. After we got married it seemed like we knew each other so well that there was less and less to talk about and discover about each other. So we quit putting in as much effort thinking that we were just getting "comfortable". I'm not a fan of  comfortable. I know it can't be like it was when we were dating but I do know that our relationship deserves more effort than it has gotten lately.

So that brings me back to my husband and I finding a hobby for us both to enjoy together. I am blank. He wants me to play video games. HELP!?!? What do you and your significant other do to connect? What do you take the time for to have something to actually discuss and communicate about?

I am so in love with my Mr and refuse to let our marriage become the average relationship. When you have something you love you don't neglect it. My husband matters to me. I know I matter to him. We haven't been neglecting each other due to lack of love. We have just gotten side tracked with all the craziness of life. Love isn't something that is self sustaining. You have to keep it strong by giving it the time and attention it needs. And I'm so excited to start giving our love more time and attention.

Help us out! What do you do to keep you love and relationship strong? What common interests and hobbies do you share? 

XOXO,

Katie

My thoughts at 3:30 AM

It's the middle of the night. Miss Molly June has been crying for the last couple hours. I just want to sleep. My husband is snoring away like there isn't a 14 month old feisty baby screaming. And I have so much on my mind to get done when the sun comes up in a few hours. 

Some might look at my simple yet crazy life and feel bad for me. They wouldn't get why I'm so happy. Some might look at my life and be envious of all I have. Some might look at my life and see their life. They may be grateful for it or they might not. Some might look at my life and see so many wonderful blessings. Some might look at my life and see no accomplishments and wonder what I did with my time. But I know what my accomplishments are.

It doesn't matter what others think or see. What matters is what I think and see. And I see a life filled with family, love, faith, triumphs, happiness, progress, friends, dreams, and hope.  I know my life isn't glamorous. Most days I am busy with my home and family. I'm not hugely popular in social circles. But instead I hang out with my husband and littles almost every night. My bank account isn't filled with lots of money. But I can pay my bills and take care of my family. I don't own a big new house. But I have a place to call home and keep my family safe and protected. I haven't traveled the world. But I have grown up in one of the biggest tourist attractions and met people from around the world. I may not be perfect. But I have a perfect life.

As I lay here waiting to see if my baby will start crying again or if she has finally fallen asleep I can't help but be so grateful for the life I have been blessed with and the people in it. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (AKA Mormons) and a christian, I can't not express my gratitude to my Savior for giving me the chance to have this beautiful life. And for giving me the chance to one day have it for eternity. 

Life is beautiful. Love is the source of all things good and wonderful. Who needs riches and social status to be successful? Not me! I'm a success. I'm living a life filled with love. No amounts of money could top that.

Well it looks like it's time for me to get to sleep. Molly girl is sleeping herself. Maybe I'll get a couple hours if sleep before it's time to get up and get Cooper boy ready for school. Nighty night.

XOXO,

Katie